Time Will Tell

When I first moved to Maryland in the Spring of 2007, I found a church that met at a high school a handful of blocks from where my apartment had been.  For reasons I can’t even remember today, I didn’t end up making that church my home and so started the journey that has brought me to where I am today.  But yesterday, after walking just a few blocks from my current apartment…I found myself at that very same church again.  They were having a celebration, because they are preparing to open their new building – not even a mile from where I live.

Yesterday I went to a wonderful women’s conference at a church that a friend of mine is very active in.  At the last minute she wasn’t able to attend with me, so I contemplated skipping it all together.  On Friday evening, a different friend came by for some girl time and to meet Malachi.  She’s a Christian as well so I confessed that I wanted to skip the event out of fear.  Together we agreed that would be a bad idea and discussed all the reasons why.  Then, Saturday morning she texted me to make sure I was up and getting ready to go.  The conference speaker was the best I’ve heard in a long time and I was blessed beyond measure by attending.

On the way to church this morning I was struck by two separate thoughts.  Bitterness that the man I was planning to marry just a few months ago, would be so impatient with me while I struggled to find myself here and the knowledge that I hadn’t yet returned the  paperwork for membership at my church, or the application to work with the youth group.  The thoughts converging on me at the same time where overwhelming and have distracted me for most of the afternoon.  This area I have moved to, it holds so much promise and opportunity for me.  I feel like a kid in a candy store, I can’t decide what I want to try first.  I can’t wait to jump in and experience all of it.  Be consumed by it, I want to be used by God here and to touch lives and be touched by lives.  I can’t wait!

But, I must.  Because God doesn’t work in my time, but his.  He loves me, so He might give me glimpses of all of these opportunities…but it’s my job to follow, not to run up ahead.  Because if I push too hard – if I am impatient and restless – then I may change the outcome of my efforts all together.  Something beautiful could be lost just because I couldn’t just wait.



It’s not easy, this waiting business.  But I know I have tools to do it.  I have prayer, I have people who love and support me and I have lots and lots of time – I have my whole life, if necessary – and I would rather see the miracles that result from God’s timing then the “ok” results from mine. 

So I will continue to put one foot in front of the other, here.  Continue to take each opportunity to meet people and share in experiences.  And just the same way that spring is already on its way - the Spring that will mark the fourth year of this adventure - when it arrives, I’ll be in a different place from where I am now.  I’m so curious to see where it will be, and what it will be like but for now I have to trust that it will come and it will be wonderful, because this time I gave it to God to develop.

Love y'all!
~M~

Wordless Wednesday

Blogger is disabling image uploads on Wednesday!  I'd have a window of time, but what with everything going on this week, I'm just gunna post early...(and make use of the fact I can use words lol)

How sweet it is!  Malachi was delivered to me at 4:00 on Sunday!  FedEx (finally) delivered his crate tonight...so now, he's been washed and clipped and dipped and we've sprayed every surface for rogue fleas from the other dogs he traveled with.  We've washed his special blanket and re-appropriated my bathroom from a make shift room for him and designated his corner in the dining room.  He refuses to sit in his sofa (smells like flea spray lol) so I'll have to replace it...but other then that, we're back in business...yaaaay!!

Love y'all,
~M~

Wordless Wednesday

(Subtitle: Can't Hardly Wait...! :)

Eat It Up

Tuesdays are Lemon Pepper Chicken day in the cafeteria.  It’s only been two months, but my co-workers already know what will be in my little to-go box when I come back to my desk on those days.  Occasionally, the cooks will get a wild hair (or maybe just some extra chicken) and make my beloved recipe on other days as well.  It hasn’t happened often, but just often enough to make me wonder what’s for lunch Wednesday through Monday…and then begrudgingly settle for the Orange Chicken booby prize.  Next week, my organization will begin the (labor intensive) relocation to a new building in a new city…far enough away from my current building to make Lemon Pepper Chicken Tuesdays completely unrealistic.  So I’ve been using my booby prize lunches as a means to remind me to relish what I have, when I have it.  Because someday, it could go away.

My job is kicking my butt.  But it’s doing it in the same way my Zumba class does.  I’m grunting and puffing and trying to keep up…but gladly coming back for more.  When I first got this job, work was scarce.  I diligently reported for duty and held down my chair everyday…while I surfed the web.  Work was delivered to me with little to no instruction and enough time elapsed between assignments that I wasn’t able to remember the process, recall what went where or determine what needed to be done.  Now, I’m the point person for a team and have to keep everyone else’s plates spinning as well as my own.  I like this much better, but on my busiest days, I do think back to “the good ol’ days” when I could message my friends on Facebook (or even make a doctors appointment with out feeling guilty) during work hours.

I have two dates scheduled for the same night.  I don’t know how this happened, but it did – and one is even a Christian.  It’s like Lemon Pepper Chicken two days in a row (lol)!  My dating history is hit or miss, so who knows if there will be a “love connection” with either of these men.  But, I’m not looking for a husband (yes I am, let’s keep it real, Mimi!) – ok, ok, I’m not actively interviewing for a husband.  At this phase in my life, I’m focusing on living life and enjoying life and experiencing whatever that means.  Hopefully, these goals will bring me a full and satisfying life as well as someone to share it with.  So I want to take particular care to enjoy the process – to relish it, because two dates in one evening might not always be situation normal for me.  Circumstances might take me away from such a social calendar the same way workload and geographic moves change my world.

I don’t like change.  I really, really don’t.  But it’s unavoidable.  Today as I scarfed down my Lemon Pepper Chicken while I pulled a file out of a moving box for my Intern and I tried to take a mental moment to enjoy.  To enjoy my chicken, to enjoy my busy job and to enjoy my current office and the way I know where everything is at.  Tomorrow, I’ll enjoy two dates (that still makes me grin, lol).  A time may come when I have no dates.  A time will definitely come when I have no more Lemon Pepper Chicken, and I’ve had enough new jobs to know that my web surfing days aren’t completely over yet. 

I want to make an effort to be aware and live in each present moment.  There is always a blessing in this present moment and I want to see it and absorb it and experience it to the fullest whatever it may be.  This present moment’s blessings might be different from the one before or after, but there’s still a blessing there.  Exhibit A: My office move will take me away from this addictive Lemon Pepper Chicken.  But it’s also putting me within walking distance to Georgetown Cupcake.  God is good!! :-D

Love y’all!

~M~

You Go Girl

This week, I celebrated two months back in Montgomery County and tomorrow will be two months at my new job.  And lemmie tell you, what a couple of months it’s been…!  I look around and nothing I see, is the way it was “supposed” to be.  Not only is everything different from what I imagined and planed it would be, but when I look in the mirror, even my reflection is different.  My hips are wider, and my FUPA is more determined than ever to conquer my profile.  My arms wave opposite of my hand and my “natural hair color” now starts far enough down my head that I’m giving myself away.  When M&M was discontinued, I went on a three week emotional hiatus – I allowed myself any form of comfort food (thereby establishing a new addiction to Monte Cristo sandwiches – oh.em.gee.), embraced the “fresh faced” (read no make-up) look, indulged in wine with dinner every night and avoided every form of physical exertion.

This leap into apathy regarding my well-being and appearance was only the final step.  I’d been inching to the edge since I arrived here.  The twice weekly, hour long sweat sessions with my personal trainer in California, has been reduced to once a week for 30 minutes.  My daily 30 minute cardio routine has whittled away to once or twice a week for 45 minutes, if I make the effort to fit it in.  My only food ritual – a healthy breakfast – has been replaced with the morning latte (sometimes two) and I drink more wine, then water.  I’ve been to a chiropractor, a massage therapist and had my hair done exactly once each since I got here.  Walking around Bethesda with a friend recently, I admired her pep and the way her heels matched her top.  I realized…I’ve let myself go. 

Earlier this week, I decided to fill an evening with a little retail therapy.  I wandered Macy’s but nothing appealed to me.  I tried some things on, but nothing fit my newfound ameba-shaped body properly.  After a brief scare when I lost my keys, I left the mall feeling alone, fat and generally unhappy.  Last night I went back determined to gain a victory.  I hauled armloads of clothes into dressing rooms until my shoulders hurt.  Finally, I came out with…one pair of jeans.  Yesss.  One pair of fitted jeans that didn’t necessarily hide my recently enlarged muffin top, but at least didn’t exacerbate it. 

Today was casual Friday so this morning I took the time to put on my great new jeans and a cute top.  I added earrings and my new favorite ring that I got at Awakening Fest.  I put on my Kenneth Cole wedges that I love, love, love, but hardly ever wear.  I did my hair.  I did my make-up.  I felt fantastic all day.  I took the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator and I re-applied lip gloss throughout the day.  In the afternoon, my cute-shoes-and-top-friend texted me to see if she should make us appointments together to get our hair done.   YES!

It was only one pair of jeans…but it felt like a jump start.  I could feel the rush – I could remember how good it felt to do strength training regularly.  How…hydrated I felt when I drank 62 ounces of water every day.  I didn’t carry my stress in my shoulders and my posture was better when I went to a chiropractor and saw a massage therapist regularly.  In a nutshell, I was reminded all day long that when I care about myself…I care about myself.  That it makes life a little bit easier and really – right now – easier is just what I need!

So today I’ve decided that I have to make a concentrated effort to take care of myself. Not to lose weight or to attract a man or for any other reason other than just, simply because I deserve it!

“How things look on the outside of us depends on how things are on the inside of us.”  ~ Unknown

Love y’all!
~M~