Son of Sam

When my childhood dog died, what I remembered the very most about him, was how good he was. If I had followed his example in any one way – his goodness, his love, his ability to forgive – I would be so much of a better person. Years later, I got a dog of my own and had to come up with a name. Malachi means “messenger of God”. Not only was it a kind of fun, funky name for a fun, funky little dog, but it would always remind me of the lessons I’d learned from my first dog.

Malachi is almost two years old, so recently we decided it was time to see how he’d do outside his crate for a whole night. The experience made me think of me and God. In other words, my dog, was an example to me of how I should be with God.

I didn’t sleep well that night, acutely aware of the 15lbs of dead weight in the middle of my bed. Malachi was curled up tightly against my stomach or my butt or my side. Whatever piece of real estate he had access to, that’s where he was glued. But whenever I would move, he would leap to attention still half asleep, but ready for whatever I wanted him to do. He slept hard all night and when the morning came and he was ready to get up, he was persistent and wouldn’t leave me alone – but he didn’t get off the bed until I said, “ok, let’s get up…”

David Berkowitz said his dog talked to him and that’s why he killed his victims. So let’s just be clear here, Malachi isn’t talking to me, ok? I mean, I’m not that weird. But stick with me for a sec, while I explain myself…

Malachi stayed connected to me even while he was asleep. He changed positions, from his initial spot under my chin, but he never lost contact. He never went off on his own – he always maintained a connection with his master (James 4:8). Whenever I moved, he was up and ready – whenever he thought I wanted him to do something, he was ready for it. He didn’t know what it was that I needed or might need, and he was sort of in the middle of something, being asleep and all…but regardless, his master might be wanting him and so he was ready (Matthew 24:44). When Malachi was ready for a change, he didn’t do anything without my ok. He was diligently communicating anyway he was able to. He communicated with his master without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17).

So, there it is. Just a little reminder that I got recently, about how to live out my Christian walk…from my dog. I suppose he’s really living up to his name! :)

Love y'all!
~M~

Happy Birthday, Jesus

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy would one day walk on water?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy would save our sons and daughters?

Did you know

that your Baby Boy has come to make you new?

This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy will give sight to a blind man?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy will calm the storm with His hand?

Did you know

that your Baby Boy has walked where angels trod?

When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?

Mary did you know…

The blind will see.

The deaf will hear.

The dead will live again.

The lame will leap.

The dumb will speak

The praises of The Lamb.

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy is Lord of all creation?

Mary, did you know

that your Baby Boy would one day rule the nations?

Did you know

that your Baby Boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?

The sleeping Child you're holding is the Great, I Am.

...Originally written by Mark Lowry and Buddy Greene...

I Found God in a Viral Video

I read a blog recently that I really liked. The author made a pointed effort to see God in everyday places. In 2010, I will read the entire Bible. I’m sure it will be an experience and I’m confident it will create more God sightings in my everyday life… a spiritual “Where’s Waldo?” of seek & find, if you will.



2009 has been an awesome year for me. Not awesome as in “totally rad” but awesome as in “showing or characterized by awe”. This year has been a journey. Some days I’ve felt wholly alone. Other days, I could clearly see God at work. But every day has been a journey forward.

When I watched this corny little video, the first thing I noticed was the song. A song that described my failed efforts. 2008 was a year I experienced an intense love, intense loneliness and a great valley season in my life. 2009 was a year that I healed from those things. The song was descriptive and upbeat…and funny. T talked about make effort after effort and failing. I liked that the song made me smile, when usually songs about struggle are usually sad.

As I listened to the song, I started watching the video…a squirrel trying to get to over a hurdle. But the squirrel was small and the hurdle was so large. I’ve felt that way before. When I was healing from love, or when I move to a new place. When I try to make changes in my life that will improve myself or my circumstances. God tries to help. He shows me again and again how to do it. He meets me where I’m at, and shows me that it can be done. But I’m afraid. I’m too small. I need a lot of help. Someone came into the video and left a backpack for the little squirrel. The little squirrel resisted at first but, then, came back and tried it. It didn’t work, it was a false start.

Then another opportunity comes along. God comes with me up to the hurdle and then he goes ahead, “You can do it – come to me!” and I have to figure out how to make it work. This time something is different and I make it. I have figured out how to make it over the hurdle and God and I are off to new adventures and challenges. But even though I’ve conquered the hurdle and it’s behind me now, I know that I might not have made it over the hurdle at all without the help of people around me who are watching and who care.

There are several concrete walls in my life that I’m in the process of scaling and I’m sure that in 2010 I’m going to make it. “You can do it – come to me!” God is saying. And with the help of those around me, I will! :)

Love y’all!
~M~

I am Ready

...to put God first

...to begin a new routine

...to move (again)

...to honor my boundaries with my family

...to run (literally, not figuratively)

...to see Maryland with healed eyes

...to build a community in one place

...for another year of adventure

...to read the whole Bible in a year...the same year, lol...

...to make new friends, enjoy the old ones and love love love!

"Don't you know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize!"
1 Corinthians 9:24

I AM READY!
 
Love y'all,
~M~

Use Me

It’s been a busy couple of weeks. I’ve wanted to write, but it’s felt like my senses are on overload. God has been showing me so many things. I’ve been so aware lately of the people God uses and how he uses them.

Exhibit A: Matthew chapter 1 – the lineage of Jesus. I heard a speaker at Women of Faith speak on this chapter. Her point was that Jesus, by nature shook up the status quo. Evidence of that is seen in Matthew 1, where women are acknowledged at all in Jesus’ lineage, since it is (or maybe was, I’m not sure) Jewish custom to follow family lines by the male and not mention the females at all.

So, we have an attention grabber just by the simple fact Matthew identified four women in the first five verses. But what’s more – is who these women are. Rahab was a hooker. Before she joined the Jewish people, Rahab hid Israelite spies in her home as they prepared to invade her city. Once she joined the Jewish people, she married Salmon (yes, Salmon, I read it twice too) and together they had Boaz. Boaz married Ruth.  We all know and love Ruth. Her story is the story of dedication. Her story is where my favorite marriage verse is found...

“But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me.””  – Ruth 1: 16-17

But Ruth, was a Moabite. That means little to nothing to us now…but back in the day, when Matthew was recounting Jesus’ family tree, the audience would have recognized this fact. Moab was the son born to Lot and his eldest daughter when, after fleeing God’s destruction of Sodom and believing they were the only people left she seduced him. The Moabites were a people who came from an act of incest and Matthew’s audience knew this.

Ruth’s great grandson, was King David. David had a relationship with Bathsheba, who was married at the time to Uriah. Together, David and Bathsheba had Solomon…and 24 generations later came Joseph – husband to Mary, mother of Jesus.

Exhibit B: In Community Bible Study, we’re reading the book of Acts. This week, we learned more about the city of Antioch (Acts 11: 19 – 12:25), among other things. With a population of approximately a half million people, Antioch was the third largest city in the Roman Empire. It was also known for being the most crooked and corrupt city in the Empire. It was 300 miles north of Jerusalem and near enough to Tarsus that Paul was referred to by his pre-Christian name, Saul. It was in this city that we – Christians – first got our name. Prior to the Gospel reaching Antioch, Christians as a group were nameless. But the pagan believers in that city labeled Christians by the God they worshiped. Pagans provided the name we identify with our faith some 2000 years later!

So lately it’s been kind of hard for me to feel unworthy of being used by God. He uses prostitutes and He uses people from the wrong “class”. He uses entire cities known for sinfulness, for crying out loud. He can certainly use me.

It’s kind of a scary thought! :)

Love y'all,
~M~

Walk with a Limp

Almost two years ago, my grandmother slipped on some stairs and broke her hip.  She bravely underwent a total hip replacement and then diligently worked in numerous physical therapy sessions to regain use of the broken part.  Last year, when I was home for Christmas, I could tell my Gramma had a little hitch in her “giddy up” and she always had her cane in hand.  It made her feel safer, she said, when lots of people where around.  This year, I was home again – this time in August. Gramma’s cane was often forgotten in a different room, there was a barely noticeable limp and the only time she really reported trouble with the hip, was if she slept on it at night.

In the last month or so, I’ve really felt led to make peace with someone I thought I was done with – for good.  It was a gradual feeling that would come to the surface and lodge there for several days, until I was able to convince myself it was my imagination and stuff the feeling back down…only to have it resurface a day or two later.  We’d tried a couple of times before, but for various reasons, true peace was not a result of those efforts.  Finally I reached out again and was curious and relieved when he reached back.  When I think of peace, things certainly aren’t how I would’ve imagined them to be with this person.  But I know they’re how they should be, because I feel different.

For me, with understanding came forgiveness.  A moment came, when I could clearly see the place this person is currently in and I could understand the associated behaviors that have impacted my heart in such ways.  I was surprised to realize that I didn’t feel anger, but…compassion. Selfless compassion.  And with that, came peace without expectations.

Forgiveness is such a difficult thing.  Even when your brain understands all the details and you want to forgive - your heart can still be like my Gramma’s hip.  Sensitive.  Touchy.  Injured.  Consistently since I rededicated my life to Christ almost three months ago, I’ve earnestly sought God and tried multiple times to find forgiveness for this person, who hurt me so deeply.  Like my Gramma’s physical therapy, it’s been painful and difficult.  There were (and are) times when I’ve wondered if it was working or worth it and times I’ve wanted to give up completely.  But just like my Gramma, every day was a new day to get better.  I clung to God the way she clung to her physical therapists.  Believing Him, when He encouraged me to take another step – to try again.  Like Gramma, I knew this would be for the best and I would be glad someday…some distant, unidentifiable day in the future (lol).

My Gramma was protective of her hip as it healed and I’m trying to be more protective of my heart now.  We both know our limitations – and what to lean on – as we mend.  I’m cautious not to forget my crutch – especially with this person.  But I’m feeling safer and less vulnerable when other people are around.  There’s still a slight hitch in my giddy up and if I put too much pressure on that part of my life or how I relate to that person, pain will still flair.  Overall, though, I’m learning that healing completely isn’t a prerequisite to forgiveness (which also means it's probably time to apply these lessons to other people in my life who might need some forgiveness...grrr...).  Through understanding and forgiveness I’m healing up well.  Better able, everyday, to use my broken part…and some days, I hardly notice that I still walk with a little limp. ;)

Love y'all,
~M~