Today was overcast and gloomy the entire day. Everyone was talking about it – the DJs on the radio, coworkers – everyone. I had to dig my umbrella out of my closet to get to my car, it was like a throwback to my Washington state days. Once I got to my car, it took me 15 minutes to get to a point it usually takes me two minutes to reach. Rain, is an oddity here. And by rain, I do mean the sullen, gloomy, Twilight kind of rain.
But I liked it. It reminded me of home. We’re easing into winter and soon enough, we’ll be coming out of it…when we do, I’ll be entering my fourth year on this journey away from home. My original plan was to come to DC for three years. Get some good, solid experience and return home to my friends and loved ones. But apparently God had other plans. Try as I might, I haven’t been able to recreate the elusive level of comfort and familiarity-bordering-on-boredom that I once held for where I lived.
I’ve always been a late bloomer. So it really shouldn’t surprise me that it’s taken nearly four years away from my comfort zone, before I begin to make sense of what God is showing me. In a word...contentment.
I’ve been putting pressure on myself, for years now, to settle into a new community so that I can re-establish myself and be just like how I used to be. I've felt almost an urgancy to transplant before I loose that person I feel in there. In the last few months, I was sure that I was closer than ever. I was going to move back to DC, back to a small pre-established cross section of friends and acquaintances, get married have a ready-made family, a good government job and live happily ever after. But apparently God had other plans.
But I liked it. It reminded me of home. We’re easing into winter and soon enough, we’ll be coming out of it…when we do, I’ll be entering my fourth year on this journey away from home. My original plan was to come to DC for three years. Get some good, solid experience and return home to my friends and loved ones. But apparently God had other plans. Try as I might, I haven’t been able to recreate the elusive level of comfort and familiarity-bordering-on-boredom that I once held for where I lived.
I’ve always been a late bloomer. So it really shouldn’t surprise me that it’s taken nearly four years away from my comfort zone, before I begin to make sense of what God is showing me. In a word...contentment.
I’ve been putting pressure on myself, for years now, to settle into a new community so that I can re-establish myself and be just like how I used to be. I've felt almost an urgancy to transplant before I loose that person I feel in there. In the last few months, I was sure that I was closer than ever. I was going to move back to DC, back to a small pre-established cross section of friends and acquaintances, get married have a ready-made family, a good government job and live happily ever after. But apparently God had other plans.
In the last two weeks it’s become clear to me (um, again), that re-creating the new and improved life that I once knew, just might not happen. The thought kind of rattles me, but also shows me that at the core, I’m still the “me” I knew then – even without the familiar comfort zone that I was sure created it. I’m on a journey which apparently isn’t over. And that’s why it’s so important for me to find – and rest – in contentment with my current circumstances, whatever they may be.
When I first heard this Miley Cyrus song, I chuckled. Really? As in…Hannah Montana? But when I heard it I criiiiied and cried…and then repeated it and criiiiied some more. Preach it Miley! I hope that our Twilight weather will continue tomorrow. Amidst everything new and semi-familiar, it’s a nice reminder of home and what used to be….a reminder of every part of me. J
"But godliness with contentment is great gain." ~ 1 Timothy 6:6
Love y’all,
~M~
~M~
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