Yoga for the Soul

I arrived in Santa Barbara June 1st and by September 7th I rededicated my life to Christ. When I got here, I had no idea rededicating was something I should even consider. But thinking, reading, praying over those three months helped me see that my move to DC (and how I had been living since) was completely independent of God. I don’t know - maybe it was “we” when I left home, but by the time I got to DC it was “me”…and then I got scared and it became more “me” everyday. Before I knew it, I was treating God the way you do a signature for a UPS delivery: sign here, get your package, good-bye. Or in my case: God, sign here so I can get what I want/need…thanks and see you next time.

When I moved to California from DC, I told people that my time here would be like yoga for my soul. The previous two years kicked my butt so I was more than ready to just relax and rejuvenate. But God, apparently, had other ideas. Sitting standby at the SeaTac airport I gave the wheel back to God…and has He been cleaning house since! My time here is turning out to be yoga, all right – but not the warm, fuzzy, Zen kind that I imagined. No, it’s something more like Downward Dog so I can’t see straight ahead. Plank pose for an indefinite length of time. Or no, better yet – it’s Bikram yoga! Hot, hard…and curiously addictive…

There are so many things being uncovered in my life – I feel like a rubbernecker at the scene of my very own accident. God is rooting around in my heart and in my life while I squeal and squirm and sometimes shriek “Wait, noooo!!” But I’m trying – I’m trying – to more often say “Ok, God, take that too. What else is in there that shouldn’t be…?”

It’s hard – I’m still struggling and there is a lot that I don’t understand yet. But I’m trusting. Because I remember how good life is, when I do that. And because I’m curious. I’m curious what life will be again, as “we” instead of “me”.

Love y'all,
~M~